March 05, 2013
Looking Up
While visiting a gallery recently, I was taken by a group of children who, bored of the walls, would lay down and look straight up at the ceiling. Their running commentary had nothing to do with the visions upward. I was fascinated by what they were looking at and for a short while followed the group about placing my camera in the spot the children laid and simply taking a time delayed shot of what they would see. What, I wondered, could they see...
Australian Driving Lesson, The Overtaking Lane
There are in Australia three genus of driver. I am certain many would argue there are a multitude of other types but for purposes of this essay we shall all agree there are three. In one of the genus there are three sub categories worth further review.
Now, in my defense I am providing this dictum from the perspective of an observer from a far off land. My perspective of course is clouded by the simple acts and habits of my former country, many of which would seem equally as insane as some I observe here. The simple fact is our respective cultures have developed in locally compatible manners. I present as evidence in support of this fact the simple impact of drivers respective abilities should one drop an Aussie or a Canuck into Guangzhou or Paris or Rome. The sheer lunacy of the drivers of those nations would curdle our respective Anglo based bloods.
As stated there are three genus of driver in Australia.
Genus #1: Normal. This driver represents 70% to 80% of drivers and is the usual among us prone to the every day foibles and stresses we are all exposed to. The have good and bad days and this is sometimes reflected in their respective abilities of the road. Fortunately the sensible abilities far outweigh the decline to lunacy otherwise these roads would decline to shear mayhem and carnage.
Genus #2: Vehicular Tourette's: A category that if not listed in listed in the Psychiatric Compendium, should be. These individuals are diagnosed by motor vehicle branch professionals and in unfortunate situations, the police. People afflicted by Vehicular Tourette's have learned to drive (?) in a constant rage, red faced, angry, spurting a continuous stream of profanities and rude gestures, all coordinated with a threatening stance with their vehicle that may result in unfortunate crashes. In the mind of this genus of driver they can do no wrong. The rest of us are all idiots, a fact they may well be true considering we dare to venture onto the roads with these people.
Genus #3: The Numerically Challenged. This is is that up to 25% of drivers who when driving in their normal manner see numbers as they are not. The most typical trait of this driver is driving 20 to 30 (or more) kilometers per hour below the posted speed limit, especially on highways. There are three sub categories to this drivers.
Sub category #1: Senior Citizens. To be fair only the Senior Citizen who has begun to lose their faculties and perhaps some motor skills and have not yet been found by the authorities to be unable to drive, yet not have they degraded to the mental level of the Vehicular Tourette's. This driver can be recognized typically by their stance. The steering wheel is clutched dutifully with white fists, at 10:00 and 2:00. The driver has positioned themselves as close to the wheel as possible either by moving the seat as far forward or stuffing large throw pillows behind their backsides. The effect is a driver peering intently forward with zero regard for fellow drivers attempting to get to their destinations expeditiously.
Sub category #2: The Recreation Vehicle Driver. Typically you will find this person in one of three types of vehicle. First would be an oversized caravan, the largest thing these drivers have ever tried to navigate, with an under sized engine that, when pressed into duty against a gale force wind of say 10 kph, will actually force the vehicle from the road or in verse. Second is the driver pulling a camper trailer, often with one vehicle slightly under inflated and the trailer unevenly packed, resulting in puller and pulled swaying back and forth like drunken sailors. As an aside passengers in this vehicle are also typically green, and not with envy. The third and final is the boat puller, a man (always a man), living the dream with a large ocean going fishing boat, fully rigged, with 2 oversized outboard motors, all hitched to his Toyota Corolla, which has the peculiar stance of having its rear end raised skyward by the counter weight of boat and trailer leaving an impression of a wheel barrow race in full flight down the highway.
Sub category #3: The Small Contractor. This individual is driving his pride and joy, a utility vehicle with an oversized diesel engine. The vehicle itself looks like it has been through battle as it has never been washed from the day it left the automobile dealership. The windows are always open so mates inside can converse with the two mates and confused dog in the tray out back. It is necessary to have these mates in place to ensure the tools lovingly tossed into the tray do not inadvertently depart the utility vehicle rendering some unsuspecting passing car with a shattered wind screen. The utility vehicle is always pulling a utility trailer stuffed with old building materials to a level where the springs are bending arched to breaking point and the old plywood and sheet rock sheets hanging over the sides periodically lift the trailer airborne as they accelerate down the highway.
Now, within Australia, as can be found in almost every nation on earth, the roads department has seen fit to construct zones where the highway is widened from a single lane to two lanes. These so called overtaking lanes render the drivers of Australia into a new Pavlovian state. A form of civil warfare is rendered upon these roads unlike any I have experienced in any country elsewhere.
The foundation for this mayhem is started by any one of the sub categories of the Numerically Challenged. In their own ways they inevitably form a near impassable barrier to those of us wishing to get efficiently to our respective destinations. And they do his with nary a care in the world. Typically the Normal, unless having an extraordinarily poor day, will tolerate the Numerically Challenged as one of those icons of stress faced by us each and ever day of our existence.
But faced with a Vehicular Tourette's the Numerically Challenged becomes an obstinate barrier to progress. They will do all in their power to block the passage of the Vehicular Tourette's often at the peril of all around them. The most common tactic is to simply slow further to further enrage their opposite. They have also been shown to swing unannounced in front of the Vehicular Tourette's, using a tactic the Tourette's themselves are famous for.
The Overtaking Lanes are an inviting sector of the Australian highway. Drivers are advised of the total quantity of zones between towns so they can prepare their respective battle strategies.
At precisely 2 kilometers from the overtaking lane zone a sign advising as such is planted adjacent the highway. This sign signals the first strategy move. The Numerically Challenged will purposely slow their passage by 5 to 10 kph. The first vehicle following will move closer rendering one the impression the two vehicles have fused near into a single entity. The Normal driver will experience an increase in heart rate, sweat, and a pit in their stomach as they move into the dangerous but necessary slip stream of their blocker in front. The Vehicular Tourette's will engage in unprecedented rage, the cause of many incidents on these highways.
300 Meters from the overtaking zone another sign announces the lane and that slower moving vehicles must move to the left (this is Australia). The co-joined vehicles begin to speed up, a paced race to the start.
As soon as the start line is crossed the first vehicle, by definition the slower, and by convention, will always move left. The following vehicle breaks right. And the race is on. The back vehicle, using the air pressure of the forward vehicle, catapults forward only to be slowed as the buffeting air of two speeding vehicles works to pull them into each other. Only one vehicle may win this race and often it is the rear mover.
More interesting is the impact of this affair to our Numerically Challenged. Faced with the challenge our Senior Citizen takes new life, shedding years, and gaining an enthusiasm for the challenge. The Recreational Vehicle Driver has discovered his vehicle will indeed accelerate but only if able to use the power of the passing driver. The one exception is the trailer pullers. The buffeting adds a vibration to the trailer that will inevitably result in the driver losing nerve and relinquishing the challenge.
The Small Contractor, buoyed by the knowledge he has a powerful and fast engine beneath that mess of a truck, and bolstered by his mates will meet the challenge face on and will often successfully win the race. He will always, always, win against the Vehicular Tourette's, knowing full well he has the strength in numbers of his mates to meet the challenge should it become personal.
An interesting aspect of this rage challenge, the need to win engrained into the Aussie driver culture, is chicken. Usually this is faced when the slower driver is driving a transport truck but has managed to allay the challenge of the passing vehicle. A sign announcing the end of the overtaking lane will come in 500 meters results in finding additional gear and speed. At 500 meters the lanes merge into one. The transport vehicle will begin a steady speedy rove into the lane of the passing vehicle rendering that driver into a state of terror and faced with decision; continue the challenge and hold the pace and risk a crash, continue the challenge and hold the pace and force the left lane challenger to acquiesce, or acquiesce themselves. Often the latter is the decision.
This is a nation of competitors. And they like to win. The overtaking lane has taken its place as daily sport, engaged by most, loathed and loved by all equally.
Now, in my defense I am providing this dictum from the perspective of an observer from a far off land. My perspective of course is clouded by the simple acts and habits of my former country, many of which would seem equally as insane as some I observe here. The simple fact is our respective cultures have developed in locally compatible manners. I present as evidence in support of this fact the simple impact of drivers respective abilities should one drop an Aussie or a Canuck into Guangzhou or Paris or Rome. The sheer lunacy of the drivers of those nations would curdle our respective Anglo based bloods.
As stated there are three genus of driver in Australia.
Genus #1: Normal. This driver represents 70% to 80% of drivers and is the usual among us prone to the every day foibles and stresses we are all exposed to. The have good and bad days and this is sometimes reflected in their respective abilities of the road. Fortunately the sensible abilities far outweigh the decline to lunacy otherwise these roads would decline to shear mayhem and carnage.
Genus #2: Vehicular Tourette's: A category that if not listed in listed in the Psychiatric Compendium, should be. These individuals are diagnosed by motor vehicle branch professionals and in unfortunate situations, the police. People afflicted by Vehicular Tourette's have learned to drive (?) in a constant rage, red faced, angry, spurting a continuous stream of profanities and rude gestures, all coordinated with a threatening stance with their vehicle that may result in unfortunate crashes. In the mind of this genus of driver they can do no wrong. The rest of us are all idiots, a fact they may well be true considering we dare to venture onto the roads with these people.
Genus #3: The Numerically Challenged. This is is that up to 25% of drivers who when driving in their normal manner see numbers as they are not. The most typical trait of this driver is driving 20 to 30 (or more) kilometers per hour below the posted speed limit, especially on highways. There are three sub categories to this drivers.
Sub category #1: Senior Citizens. To be fair only the Senior Citizen who has begun to lose their faculties and perhaps some motor skills and have not yet been found by the authorities to be unable to drive, yet not have they degraded to the mental level of the Vehicular Tourette's. This driver can be recognized typically by their stance. The steering wheel is clutched dutifully with white fists, at 10:00 and 2:00. The driver has positioned themselves as close to the wheel as possible either by moving the seat as far forward or stuffing large throw pillows behind their backsides. The effect is a driver peering intently forward with zero regard for fellow drivers attempting to get to their destinations expeditiously.
Sub category #2: The Recreation Vehicle Driver. Typically you will find this person in one of three types of vehicle. First would be an oversized caravan, the largest thing these drivers have ever tried to navigate, with an under sized engine that, when pressed into duty against a gale force wind of say 10 kph, will actually force the vehicle from the road or in verse. Second is the driver pulling a camper trailer, often with one vehicle slightly under inflated and the trailer unevenly packed, resulting in puller and pulled swaying back and forth like drunken sailors. As an aside passengers in this vehicle are also typically green, and not with envy. The third and final is the boat puller, a man (always a man), living the dream with a large ocean going fishing boat, fully rigged, with 2 oversized outboard motors, all hitched to his Toyota Corolla, which has the peculiar stance of having its rear end raised skyward by the counter weight of boat and trailer leaving an impression of a wheel barrow race in full flight down the highway.
Sub category #3: The Small Contractor. This individual is driving his pride and joy, a utility vehicle with an oversized diesel engine. The vehicle itself looks like it has been through battle as it has never been washed from the day it left the automobile dealership. The windows are always open so mates inside can converse with the two mates and confused dog in the tray out back. It is necessary to have these mates in place to ensure the tools lovingly tossed into the tray do not inadvertently depart the utility vehicle rendering some unsuspecting passing car with a shattered wind screen. The utility vehicle is always pulling a utility trailer stuffed with old building materials to a level where the springs are bending arched to breaking point and the old plywood and sheet rock sheets hanging over the sides periodically lift the trailer airborne as they accelerate down the highway.
Now, within Australia, as can be found in almost every nation on earth, the roads department has seen fit to construct zones where the highway is widened from a single lane to two lanes. These so called overtaking lanes render the drivers of Australia into a new Pavlovian state. A form of civil warfare is rendered upon these roads unlike any I have experienced in any country elsewhere.
The foundation for this mayhem is started by any one of the sub categories of the Numerically Challenged. In their own ways they inevitably form a near impassable barrier to those of us wishing to get efficiently to our respective destinations. And they do his with nary a care in the world. Typically the Normal, unless having an extraordinarily poor day, will tolerate the Numerically Challenged as one of those icons of stress faced by us each and ever day of our existence.
But faced with a Vehicular Tourette's the Numerically Challenged becomes an obstinate barrier to progress. They will do all in their power to block the passage of the Vehicular Tourette's often at the peril of all around them. The most common tactic is to simply slow further to further enrage their opposite. They have also been shown to swing unannounced in front of the Vehicular Tourette's, using a tactic the Tourette's themselves are famous for.
The Overtaking Lanes are an inviting sector of the Australian highway. Drivers are advised of the total quantity of zones between towns so they can prepare their respective battle strategies.
At precisely 2 kilometers from the overtaking lane zone a sign advising as such is planted adjacent the highway. This sign signals the first strategy move. The Numerically Challenged will purposely slow their passage by 5 to 10 kph. The first vehicle following will move closer rendering one the impression the two vehicles have fused near into a single entity. The Normal driver will experience an increase in heart rate, sweat, and a pit in their stomach as they move into the dangerous but necessary slip stream of their blocker in front. The Vehicular Tourette's will engage in unprecedented rage, the cause of many incidents on these highways.
300 Meters from the overtaking zone another sign announces the lane and that slower moving vehicles must move to the left (this is Australia). The co-joined vehicles begin to speed up, a paced race to the start.
As soon as the start line is crossed the first vehicle, by definition the slower, and by convention, will always move left. The following vehicle breaks right. And the race is on. The back vehicle, using the air pressure of the forward vehicle, catapults forward only to be slowed as the buffeting air of two speeding vehicles works to pull them into each other. Only one vehicle may win this race and often it is the rear mover.
More interesting is the impact of this affair to our Numerically Challenged. Faced with the challenge our Senior Citizen takes new life, shedding years, and gaining an enthusiasm for the challenge. The Recreational Vehicle Driver has discovered his vehicle will indeed accelerate but only if able to use the power of the passing driver. The one exception is the trailer pullers. The buffeting adds a vibration to the trailer that will inevitably result in the driver losing nerve and relinquishing the challenge.
The Small Contractor, buoyed by the knowledge he has a powerful and fast engine beneath that mess of a truck, and bolstered by his mates will meet the challenge face on and will often successfully win the race. He will always, always, win against the Vehicular Tourette's, knowing full well he has the strength in numbers of his mates to meet the challenge should it become personal.
An interesting aspect of this rage challenge, the need to win engrained into the Aussie driver culture, is chicken. Usually this is faced when the slower driver is driving a transport truck but has managed to allay the challenge of the passing vehicle. A sign announcing the end of the overtaking lane will come in 500 meters results in finding additional gear and speed. At 500 meters the lanes merge into one. The transport vehicle will begin a steady speedy rove into the lane of the passing vehicle rendering that driver into a state of terror and faced with decision; continue the challenge and hold the pace and risk a crash, continue the challenge and hold the pace and force the left lane challenger to acquiesce, or acquiesce themselves. Often the latter is the decision.
This is a nation of competitors. And they like to win. The overtaking lane has taken its place as daily sport, engaged by most, loathed and loved by all equally.
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