From a Crowded Room

Standing from the corner

Looking out from a cocoon

My own making

A fear of all of you

Misdiagnosis

My prognosis?

Step forth

Get on board

Are You There

I lay here in silent fear

You are not there

As you are not

I hold your memory close

Staring to this space

Cold and empty

And I remember

When you can’t stop thinking of someone

When you remember their touch

When you remember their scent

When you remember their taste

And can feel their breath

And hear their voice

How they hold you and touch you

When they are not around

This is truly the deep

Presence and truth

Turning cold to warmth

I reach out

And touch you

In Response Ability

To know what I will never know

What a question

Irresponsibility abounds

In the minds of others

Not in the know I know this always

To learn is the pinnacle

And there are no shortcuts

No matter what the track states

I am not easy deary

I can easily cause the teary

And feel nothing as a result

Other than the clue

I did wrong by you

And I know remorse

For what I don’t know

So that is feeling is it not?

I know nothing of myself

That is nothing but mechanics

Of hoses and joints and machines and wires

To drive the unique me forward

Yet there it dwells

That infernal inkling

Touching close

Causal connections

A dose of normalcy

From the world reactionary

Right there

Out of reach

On the other side of this mirror

With Apologies That Is the Question

Give me a bone here

I deserve so much more

Than you can ostensibly give

Living me in the lurch

You are such a jerk

Yet I love you so, why?

You will never know who you are

But will always know what you are

Can you see how that can get to me

You go through all the right motions

From time to time

You even go through all the right emotions

From time to time

And then you disappear

Where do you actually go

Is it me, why do I think it is me

I bare myself to you

You can only be bare to me

Exposed and hidden

Indisposed

Where are you and why

What are you and why

You can be loved

Yet me frustrated cannot be loved the same

And yet you can love

It is all so unfair

The toll such a great fare

Is the price worth it

You cannot say can you

Only I can

On the spot out out foul spot

Not fair to you

Not fair to me

Knowing me knowing you

Is it worth it

Can I live with it


I have missed you!