The wee window greets me with this simple message: New Voice Mail
Press SP-PHONE
Star ninety-nine
Please enter your password or if you have entered the wrong mail box number press star.
Beep beep beep beep bope beep bope beep beep, number sign
You have one new voice message, to check unheard messages press one-one.
One. One.
First message…
“Hi Mr. Giesbrecht (ah thinks I, a wrong number) this is Marie from Weight No More returning your call. I got your email sir and I need you to call me back so we can put you on the road to your new you. You have our numbers and do feel free to call the toll free number. Or email us, yah that will work too, email us Mr. Giesbrecht. Oh, and have you booked your doctors assessment, we need that information. Your BMI is very high sir and I know we can help. So call, uh, yes, well bye then.”
I listen with interest whilst washing a bag of chips down with a coke. Poor Mr. Giesbrecht thinks I, so heavy he needs surgery. I hope they find him.
To delete this message press 7.
4 comments:
I wish, rather hope you are kidding, alas, poor Mr. Giesbrecht indeed.
Dear Anonymous, these are actual voice mails. No kidding here.
Oh my, the irony, Chips and coke indeed.
Darn, I said "indeed" twice, my apologies.
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