Afterglow

Do you smoke after...

... well, hmmm, you know. (red faced, but why)

I don't know. I've never checked.

That was the usual gag line response.

Young lads with knowledge gained

From Rat Pack movies, comedy gags,

And lavatory intellectualism usually followed by nervous giggles

An all knowing mass of hormonal nothing

Divided from the subjective objectives of our imaginations

By a mere wall.

Were these conversations taking place there too?

We imagined from black and white

The post conversations punctuated with the orange ashen glow

Spirits of tobacco sensually circling talks of future opportunity

With truths maybe still unknown 

Hidden buried deep within 

Still

A future now, and it is all changed

Cigarettes are dangerous

And smoking in bed well...

Do you smoke after?

I don't know, I've never checked.

The words remind me anew

From the new blue screens of our silent afterglow. 

Despair

Who are you?

Who exactly are you?

Or what?

Why do you grab my chin that way?

Crushing my cheeks into my teeth?

Do you feel that pain?

This woman who could not care?

Did not care?

For me?

As I hurtled to that train you held, me?

And then was it you who forced me to break?

That cold bleak prairie night inexplicably warm?

Was that you?

As I stood mezmerized at my falls?

The chilled frost was layering in that dark, it cracked?

And you talked with me again didn't you?

Did you see your father?

He will hold you, you know?

And will he understand? Forgive me?

Have I lost my way?

Attacked over and over by, by, by what I ask?

You've clutched me again?

But the water is cold isn't it?

It will be quick I think?

There is nothing quick here just ice reposed a question of moral outrageous railing against that so called perfect dream where I was but a two bit actor in that stage of your design salvaged from the edge by cared now by love of those who see my pain through your petty vengeance I shall live in spite of you that clutch to my throat impacting my chest rises above this unable to enable 

Taciturn v Shorn

There, it’s an obscurity

Making the presence known

A coldness down the spine

Manifest unease

Curled a dog in silent fear

Nose to tail a single

Quizzical eye to the unknown

How dare you threaten.

That foul stench of greed

Insatiable need to lord over

What?

One cannot own

Where there is no capacity to love

Affecting affectation, the pretentious show

Oh the tears

How has this dark energy been tuned

A statement of war

A confrontation that is due

To cause all impacted ruin

Much to a selfish satisfaction

And sick desire to static

A stench foul is spreading

Where went that pride

Distinct needless of none

It is slept long enough

And needs to participate

The remains of the great experiment

Have been freed

Will they be merged? Never

What will rise friend or its foe

And now I live every day afraid,
And tomorrow?

sfear

I have stood on this precise spot

time and again

everyday of this life

and stared off over the pool

where the firm was divided

my back to the certain infelicitous

regret but not regretting

forgetting but not to forget

my face to the certain blessed

a ghost

i have stood on this precise spot

time and again

everyday of this life

and stare off across the pool

where firm was divided

a face to where pain still tries

to fell me a haunting misadventure

i have not forgotten but will forget

and I turn to my blessing

this spirit

we all stand at this precise spot

ground to this sphere

a shared existence

of apparitions who inertia

renders beached to vengeance

incapable of motion.

pasts signal deaths wraith

verve cocoons purify threat abandoned

Take a hand and trust yourself.

choice temper 

My ExCess

I am obLiterate in this onslaught against the very fibre if this that linked us to the mutual success of my inevitable success upon which you have conjoined your excess estimates of the risk do not meet your short minded self centre their will fore a reckoning which will further erode me to your planned failure of my ruination for I know what schema attack you are forming fearful of your age embarrassed by the formula you had created but we're unwilling to invest in. Life requiems earned investment or fail lures us to a precipice demised in your own misguided disguise.  We can mire in the far flung mud of the cesspools we created or we can fertilise a firmament upon that long lost.  

In other words. 

A Tale of Two Gums

Excelerate yourself

Seemples, we can all change if we try

Of course we can

And yes I should feel what you do

But its me chew you see

Mine Aspergum suppresses all feeling

Hidden behind this lovely flavour

Cheery Cherry

Full Or range

Your choice

I do love your taste

Minty explosions emote through my head

A creative cretin born undeserving

While lamenting the languish

It stalls up here

Unshared understood unspoken, sadly

Perhaps we should stop ruminating

On or our ruinating

And trade packets

Or simply drop them

For the peace of a complex wine

This unknown vintage a reflection of age

To predict a self-assured onward

Sipped in love and friendship

Kindred spirits sharing difference

A devotion to simple affection

Uncontrolled forgiven

Controlled regretted for that unsaid

Honest reflections
Celebrate breath

Contemptplation

I fear the black corners
That which lurks in the dust
The product of our shed
Gone lifeless
And settled from this air
Our breathing a movement
Musical weaving of fate
There was no wrong done here
All of it reasonable
There was no love there
All of it sacrificial
And now to pay again
I've only blood left
Do I spill it
A last breath
Coaxing flotsam from the waste
Or do I shine light
And rise above
Once again
Because I am good
And so much the better
Than and without you