Contemptplation

I fear the black corners
That which lurks in the dust
The product of our shed
Gone lifeless
And settled from this air
Our breathing a movement
Musical weaving of fate
There was no wrong done here
All of it reasonable
There was no love there
All of it sacrificial
And now to pay again
I've only blood left
Do I spill it
A last breath
Coaxing flotsam from the waste
Or do I shine light
And rise above
Once again
Because I am good
And so much the better
Than and without you

Daedal

It is all so complicated

There are things in

Beyond capacity

Beyond complexity

To be in comprehension

A tension of simplicities

Woven to intricacy

The links points

Of clarity and confusion.

Why do we bother to play in here at all?

The rules are fluidal

Whimsical points of view

Set by the artificer

Acquiesce only to capitulation

To secure concordance

From those who choose

To be misunderstood

Or misunderstand those

Who would understand

Those that are beyond

Giving of themselves further

For little reward

Till a creature of open heart

Enters the soul

And simply resides

In tender connection pulling

Constant heart in core

Encore and again

When it will make sense

We hope

Before it all unravels

Be it the ever intricate connecting

Knots of our entwined worth

Clenched to all hold on
For there are bumps ahead

Church of England

Talk to me Dad

Tell me of your life, the form

Tell me of the war, that wondrous playtime for young boys

Tell me of the terror, of bombs, direct and stealthy

Tell me of your moving

From the time your brother fetched the midwife

To the Mediterranean

To the Middle East

To England

Tell me till you stop

Your silence a period of sadness and melancholy

Play with me Dad

Show me how to throw a ball

A googily to confuse those opponents

Walk with me up tall mountains

And small villages and orchards and fields

Show me those ghosts

Show me these graveyards

Feed me Nelson Cakes and tea to ground me to the yards

And bring me to the admiral’s resting place

Our heritage of sea

Teach me Dad

Of history, of geography

Show me how to find my way

Points on maps with meaning

That the easy fast way is not the interesting way

Give me features to navigate this life

So I can find my way here

Again to you

Again to my children

Again to my home

We stand at Regent Day Dad

And I always look left

Even when you weren’t there

There you were a beacon, a hope

Just down that road or on those rails

And we believed if we had to

You would take us

Heal us, this was our faith

You’ve a way of speaking

A gentle giant of a man

Humour your shield

English to the core

We’ve adopted this you know

A quiet repose where silence holds definition

I borrow your voice in this head

And I use its familiar comfort

To relax people around proper friendly demeanor

To suppress anger

And to change this world for better

It was only a week Dad

And you had us all

You were so happy with your family

Finding back roads

Showing us Havre hills

Where none should logically be in that wide prairie

And we climbed the mountains and played in the snow

And we built memory

And it was only a week again Dad

A surprise wasn’t it

Your teen boy come to hold eulogy

With his father for a favoured mother

And you gave me connection to family

And our children connect even today

So we cannot be separated

Though separate we would be

Hold me Dad

I am faltered and alone

Disconnected and broken

Can you counsel a boy

Guide with your wisdom

Take away this pitted pain

Give me strength to carry forward

Against those opponents who would hold me committed

You said it was right, this change

I believe it is

Look at us Dad

Look at who we are

Fine men and women who made their way

Look at how we’ve learned

See your children’s children Dad

Wonders and joy, learning from us

And now their great children

Our rewards from God that we be allowed to carry on

It all started in England

This church of your people

And its is all so brilliant, all so unexpected

And all such a miracle

Look at what you’ve started

It is all so very good
We can take it from here

Irides

Let us trade the light of two spheres across two spheres our pleasures companions stare to each watch of tenuous steps toward a settlements conditional of honest knowing that we too be can be will be inseparable separable fools created in each a need to join our souls to distant firmament all wise knowing we are lovers again and for again and now

thoughts on vocation

so I’m sitting around doing not so much other than being this unemployed bum with something called financial obligations and few prospects while I do this mind numbing but so called life affirming homework that evidently will make me a better person that will now have employability skills that I can use to secure a high powered over paying under fulfilling career job when I get up and go to the loo and I glance into the mirror and I see an old portly bugger with a bulbous gut pushing the bottom edge of a sweat stained paint festooned well worn well torn t-shirt from in better shape yeah this is a good idea go run a marathon days over top of my relegated renovation shorts covered in house paint and glue and caulk and sweat and stuff and I think, hmm, you look like an artist.

think i will contemplate this from bed.

Forgiveness’

There are who need this from me

An overwhelming need to do so has struck

I have no need to like you, I won’t

But I will tolerate you

Because we are intertwined.

Hurt comes in many a guise

Hurled at each without thought of feeling

Just because I have no emotion did not mean I do not feel.

Because we are intertwined I must forgive

I must for those I still love and love me still

For those who will love me forward.

For all those years where love should have been

Inflicted pain, ignoring even for yourself

“this hurts me as much as it hurts you”

So not true, but it does hurt you felt you needed to hurt yourself

In order to hurt another.

I forgive you

I wonder, can you forgive too?

Folgian

You, you are right

there!

Liege yes we follow

Embraced in warmth

Aglow

This spark blown afar

Raised through friction

Loathed and loved

An appreciative audience

We follow your lead

Yet want to know

Where?

Do you go from

And return to

Hmmm