Dear Kith

Contrary to considered truth I am still here.  The concern over my disappearance is long in truth and full of self-deception as I attempted to recluse myself.  I am aware again.  How do we indeed know if we are truly there, or not, unless we are truly aware?  I am of course aware but the reality is there is no clue within the playground.  The recreation grounds are in fact a mass of exploration forming thoughts, nay concepts, of the humanity I wish I were.

A dichotomy.

Love and friendships have been eluding me Kith.  As you are well aware I give of myself freely but very selectively.  My muse comes in, counsels me, and then abandons me to, well, me.  How can one realistically live a temporary existence?  I do want to hold but most assuredly want you all to live and love free.  Do I control too much?  Do I live the delusion of something far too powerful to understand?

Confusion reigns doesn’t it?  Tell me Kith, how is it you are able to put up with me when you do.  I love you for it.  And of course am confused when you depart.  Thank you for grounding me Kith.  Your patience with me presents me with reality.  My eyes are opened, reopened to all the wonder in this universe.  The small become amazing.  Childhood is nothing less than life itself.  And trust is this truly wondrous gift.

I am approaching the latter stages of set Kith.  The next will overwhelm me soon.  I want you to know dear Kith I draw inspiration from you all days.  Without you I am only an entity.  I hope to continue to share the journey with you Kith.  I would want it no other way.

With love, with respect, and truly,

n.

Splat!

Wired Indifference

Sometimes

You have to give a man a chance

To trust what he does not know

Yet

Top floor please

I don’t know why

But I really need to see from there

From on high

Pompous bastard they may call me

But understand

I need to understand

I know I do not know

And it disturbs me

You know

So there you have it yes

Feeling nothing

No laughter

No pain

No love

Snippets of stuff

Enter this ether

And manifest in that

This indifferent mind

Believes it should be

      And could be

     

To let it happen

To open this tin heart

This golden road

To have what you have

      Could it be

      Could I see

Too

Sadly the lift drops again

Grounded in reality

Wired indifference

Renders itself

A soul in the world

Loving the real

Wishing nay hoping

For a place

The connection

The connected

Magnitude

The absurdity of it all

Why is it I cannot I fall

From this orb

The tentacles of gravity

Pull and claw

The presence of reality

Lost in what

A relationship

A tragedy

Of what making

Responsibility

Pure crap!

Alone again naturally

Why don’t I get it

Why can’t they get it?

You,

You are unique dearest friend

And loved

I reach out for you

And ask

Where are you?

Can we pull each to each?

Comfort in company

Relive the foibles

And live the life

Of misunderstood creatures

What a state of what, ends

Bouquet

It was you

While I was lined

Interminable wait

This hot day

There you were

Suddenly

A splash of pastel

In a sea of steel on asphalt

Life in the lifeless

A moment in the breach

Still life 

Stop timed

Around the bend 

Gone yet again

Leit

So, seen any good shows lately

Yah, some

What

There’s this one

Where this man and this woman

They like love each other

But they can’t or they won’t

Cause they like life too much

Together

And then this spell comes

And like I woke up then

Oh Yah

And did you feel something

Just empty

I didn't like to wake up

And well,

Angel wings

You know the wings sound

And the air the wings make

But they scare you don’t they

Oh no

Well they used to

But not any more

I like feel comfortable from them

Cause they take me places

Where I want to go

On my bicycle

Round the earth though I don’t know how I can ride in Africa

Yet

And they give me movies

When I sleep

Good movies and bad too

I do like the old war movies

Honour and horror together

And forgiveness

After the battle is done.

No one ever wins

But we all carry on

And we make it all better

Cause that’s what we do

So

You been to any good funerals lately

The End






                  and nothing?

Medicated

Standing in the fray

Damn this all

The noise, the bustle

The expectations

A performing puppy

Wanting only to belong

The Englishman cocks his rifle

Takes dead aim

Between the eyes

Adversarial determination

Kindness overwhelming

Sees a future

Released to own devices

Awash in the self serving pity

Of best for use

Before knowledge of best before

Dates of the unknown

When does the off begin

Who sets the agenda

Or is it done together

None done in solitary

Confinement self determined

Brake free chained souls

To soar in these clouds

Eyes seeing all

Coupled and apart

Different views of the same

Object

And agree

Unique with devotion for all time